Emotional Ambivalence at the Beginning of Pregnancy

Emotional ambivalence during pregnancy and early parenthood often takes many of us by surprise. We are often told that the natural reaction to discovering you are pregnant—especially if the pregnancy is desired—is pure happiness. However, it is very common for fear to appear alongside joy. This might be fear of losing personal freedom, fear that the baby may not be well, fear of childbirth, or fear of the many changes that come with pregnancy. In any case, emotional complexity and ambivalence are not signs that something is wrong.

---

Why do we feel this emotional ambivalence?

Although there is still relatively little research exploring the psychology and neuroscience of pregnancy, we know that this emotional ambivalence is related to the many hormonal, psychological, and social changes that begin during this stage.

On the one hand, this period is often the most challenging in terms of physical symptoms: nausea, intense sleepiness, and heightened sensitivity to smells are some of the most common. In these circumstances, it is completely understandable that physical discomfort also affects our emotional state.
Even if you are not experiencing strong physical symptoms, a “hormonal storm” is taking place inside your body. Pregnancy is usually discovered around week five, when levels of the pregnancy hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) increase dramatically. This sends a signal to the ovaries to increase the production of estrogen and progesterone. While progesterone tends to have a calming effect—often responsible for the increased sleepiness during this stage—fluctuations in estrogen may be related to low mood, anxiety, and rapid mood changes. At the same time, physical changes begin in the body, which can sometimes be experienced with strangeness or even rejection.
At the same time, our minds begin to process the first changes in our routines (paying attention to what we can and cannot eat, stopping smoking or drinking, increasing rest) and to prepare for the many changes that lie ahead. Psychologically, this is a very intense period, even though we often approach it with the idea that pregnancy should be a “sweet waiting period.” And in many ways it is—but it can also mark the beginning of a quiet farewell to the life we are leaving behind as we step into the unknown. Seen this way, who wouldn’t expect to feel more than one emotion at once?

---

How can we navigate these first weeks without losing our sense of calm?

First of all, it is important to know that what you are experiencing is completely normal. Feeling fear, anxiety, or doubts about your pregnancy does not make you a worse mother. Emotional ambivalence is a common feature of the early stages of pregnancy. Surrounding yourself and talking with trusted women who have been pregnant or who have children can help you feel more understood and less alone.
It is also important to allow yourself the space to process difficult emotions. Listen to what you say to yourself and try to respond with the same kindness you would offer a close friend. If self-criticism or reproaches arise because of these mixed feelings, remind yourself that you are going through an emotionally complex period—and that is always challenging. Be patient with yourself and give your emotions space.
And if you feel that you need additional support during this stage, do not hesitate to seek the help of a professional who can accompany you through it.